As preparation for a big, moderately priced used car purchase, a local man by the name of Steven Gunderson has pledged to give up all of the world’s many pleasures. Yes, you heard that right. Steven Gunderson actually signed a written pledge to “Give up all worldy distractions until such time as a sufficient vehicle is acquired.” On Monday morning, he told his family about the pledge and explained that he really needs to focus on his study of the used car market in order to get the best possible deal and “not get screwed.” And that is why he will no longer be accessible by phone, email or any other electronic communication.
Instead of partying with friends or eating full meals, Steven Gunderson has spent the last few days at the local public library, reading relevant magazine publications and online reviews for used cars and used car lots. An on-site librarian reports that he is keeping a detailed notebook which contains relevant review scores and impressions cross-referenced with other reviews to get some idea of how the reviewer’s personal tastes informed their review. And once they are all aggregated, he hopes to have a more complete outlook of the market from professional reviewers’ perspective. After that is when the real work begins. He will move on to analyzing forum posts and tweets to try to pull out relevant information and input that data into a separate notebook.
This comes less than a week after his previous car’s “weird noise” escalated to a point that a technician at Happy Automotive deemed it no longer salvageable. And after several days of what can best be called “light googling for a car,” Steven decided to step up his game and seems to have settled into this course of action as early as last Wednesday evening. On that day, a Gamestop manager ran into Steven when he came into his store to sell this Xbox One S. Steve remarked to the man “What could this possibly tell me about the reliability of a 2015 Hyundai Accent?”
Steven Gunderson has naturally proved rather difficult to contact directly about this story but, should this story make it’s way to him, we would only wish him well on what must seem like an impossible task.
Update: After our initial publication, several family members reached out to let us know that there are some concerns about Steven’s well-being. His roommates have not seen him in days and a librarian found “Is a hybrid worth it?” written in blood. Please come home, Steven. This was a fun article to write but now we’re just seriously concerned.
- C.D.C. Confirms Covid-19 Can Only Be Spread Via Feces - February 21, 2022
- Austin Walker Announced As New Head Of Overwatch Team At Activision-Blizzard - August 20, 2021
- We Talked To A Concert-Level Flutist About That American Pie Scene - February 8, 2021