Home DystopiaPoli-Dystopia Trump Tasks Justice Department With Acquiring NVIDIA 3090 Graphics Card

Trump Tasks Justice Department With Acquiring NVIDIA 3090 Graphics Card

by Daniel

Reports are coming in that President Donald Trump has tasked the Justice Department with acquiring an Nvidia 3090 graphics card for the president’s personal use. The more consumer-focused Nvidia 3080 line of cards have been nearly impossible to find since they first launched on September 17th with entire allotments seemingly disappearing in seconds. And while more expensive enterprise-focused Nvidia 3090 cards only launched on September 24th, the first allotment sold out instantly and shortages going forward are expected to be similar.

The president has his heart set on a Nvidia manufactured Founder’s Edition card but, when pressed by Attorney General William Barr, he admitted that he would settle for a partner manufactured 3090 graphics card from “Asus or MSI, but never Zotac.” The president has indicated that he needs a 3090 in order to better utilize Blender, Autodesk, Maxon Redshift and other applications that he uses on a daily basis as part of his duties as president. However, sources close to the president have also indicated that he is also rather unhappy with the framerates his old Nvidia 2080 TI offers when playing Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020 in his triple monitor cockpit setup.

The justice department hopes to acquire one of these cards by applying pressure to manufacturers based upon their use of certain Chinese assembly lines. The department is preparing a statement decrying “The flagrant inability of Chinese forced labor camps to properly meet the demands of U.S. consumers.”

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