Amazon has announced plans to develop an alternative to the Midnight Meat Train system. The MTA has been forced to delay the regular weekly Midnight Meat Train deliveries a number of times this year due to aging tracks and badly needed repairs. The malevolent creatures who live under the city have yet to sign off but Amazon has laid out their general plan.
Independent contractors will be temporarily imbued with supernatural strength by Amazon’s Butcher app. From there, contractors will be directed to the nearest available location where a drone and unsuspecting victim will be waiting. “Butcher-ers” will procure RFID tagged butchering instruments from the drone using a special code produced in the app and then butcher the target. The “Butcher-er” will then place the meat and butchering instruments in the drone. Once the drone detects adequate meat, Amazon’s new Conductor AI will direct the drone to deliver the meat to the creatures who live underneath the city. After delivery, funds will be deposited in the contractor’s account and they will receive a one use coupon for an Amazon Bathhouse, only to be used for cleanup purposes.
We will have to see how this all shakes out but this reporter considers this a smart move forward. It brings the outdated one Butcher, one Midnight Meat Train into the modern economy. This reporter described what Amazon is developing as “UBER, but for butchering human beings.” Amazon executives did not like that, for branding reasons.
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