Steve Rannazzisi was one of comedy’s rising stars when it came out, in 2015, that he lied for 14 years about being in the South Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001. And you can tell this was a 2015-era controversy because that’s the end of it. Today’s modern 2018 denizens might wonder why Steve lied about being in the South Tower. Was he across the street on September 11th, sexually assaulting a lady whilst those towers fell. But no, records indicate that Steve spent most of the morning in an Arby’s in Midtown. And, after extensive research, the New York Times has confirmed that, not only did he not sexually assault someone on September 11th, it would appear has never sexually assaulted any one at all. And we must now ask ourselves “why?
I would posit that it is his elaborate backstory that kept Steve have committed the heinous crimes that sometimes seem so prevalent in the comedy community. Imagine you’re a comedian and you’re a piece of shit and you’re in your twenties and you lie and say that almost dying on September 11th inspired you to go into comedy. That’s a lot of backstory to keep track of. What floor were you on? Was it scary? Did you lose anyone close to you? Did your clothes get ashy? Now keep that story straight for 14 years. Your average comedian simply doesn’t have the energy to juggle the lies associated with being a rapist and someone who wasn’t really at ground zero on September 11th.
The past few years have proven that, time and time again, the combination of being a fucking terrible person and being famous and being unburdened by any grandiose lies is too much power for any one human being. And maybe, just maybe it’s these pointless stolen valor-esque narratives that we need from this coming generation of comedians. Fresh faced, up and coming forty-five year old peer of Marc Maron, Sean Jordan is leading the way by claiming to have been pronounced legally dead in a coal mine accident in 1996. We can only hope many comedians follow his lead and speak up about their nonexistent trauma.
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