Uproarious laughter echoed through the halls of your childhood home as your mom issued a statement that was intended to be non-sexual but that had a very obvious and very …
What’s Happening?
President Trump Has Christmas Surprise For Children He Kidnapped
Earlier today, President Trump showed up to an event at the largest West Texas camp that ICE maintains to store the migrant children they currently have in custody. Reporters on …
As The Abyss, I’m Tired Of Staring Back Into Shitty Studio Apartments
Now I’ve been around for a little while. I was there at the beginning of the universe, being the darkness and also being of the darkness. And I’ll be there …
Back To The Future Recast Because Test Audiences Didn’t Believe Eric Stoltz Wouldn’t Fuck His Mom
It’s one of the most infamous recasting of all time and, today, we finally got real clarity on the reasoning behind it. Footage of Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly sat …
Reports are coming in that this dog is really fucking digging into those blankets. This expert reporter would guess that the act of burrowing is an instinct left over from …
Word Crime: “Naughty” Belongs To Santa, Not To The Prostitutes I Hire
In my day and age, naughty had only one very specific use case. And it’s definition was whatever the big man up north desired*. You got on the good list …
That Friend Sends You Binder On How To Play Smash Right
It’s that time again. That one friend has fedexed you their compilation of all of their rules for how to properly play Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. He “strongly requires” that …
Nicolas Cage Reveals “Mandy” Is A Christmas Movie
Just in time for the holiday buying season, Nicolas Cage spoke to Entertainment Weekly earlier today to talk up the bluray release of his new film “Mandy.” And amongst other …
Top Ten Most Annoying Things About Being An Uber Driver
The new gig economy is all anyone is talking nowadays. But what is it like on the other side? We talked to some prolific Uber drivers and they told us …
Phone Has Notification, Your Parents Are Probably Dead
At approximately 2:47 PM today, your phone vibrated and issued it’s literally trademark tone to indicate a default notification. It was not a Steam app notification tone indicating a video …