White picket fences, a big yard and a three car garage filled with boxes and four cars in the driveway. For a long time that was what every god fearing…
October 2018
Idea So Good, It Doesn’t Need To Be Written Down
It’s honestly a really, really good fucking idea. I’m impressed. No, really, you’re a really smart guy. Hell, it almost feels less like a normal idea and more of a…
Last Night, 70 Million Americans Dreamt about Trump Falling Down Stairs
In a one of the kind mass dream event, more than 70 million Americans report experiencing a dream last night at approximately 2:45 AM EST, in which President Trump fell…
Amazon Developing Midnight Meat Drone Service
Amazon has announced plans to develop an alternative to the Midnight Meat Train system. The MTA has been forced to delay the regular weekly Midnight Meat Train deliveries a number…
Rapist Invited to Party Because it Would be Awkward to Refuse
Look guys, I know that women said he raped her but Greg asked if it would be cool if his friend came along. And in that moment, it felt weird…
This Halloween, Treat My T-Rex Costume with Respect
I am sick and tired of people treating my T-Rex costume like it’s some kind of joke. It’s same thing every single year. Lots goofs on tiny arms and Jurassic…
The Upright Citizen Brigade has announced plans to offer an intermediate course at it’s Los Angeles Franklin location centered on the texting of comedian Paul F Tompkins. This course has…
In an annual policy conference, key figures in the LGBTQA community have announced plans to add the letter C to the acronym. The acronym will now stand for lesbian, gay,…
Friends Sends 4chan Screencap, Probably a Nazi
Initial excitement at receiving a message from a long time friend was tempered when it’s contents appeared to contain a screencap of a 4chan post. Last contact with said friends…