In my day and age, naughty had only one very specific use case. And it’s definition was whatever the big man up north desired*. You got on the good list …
New News
Nicolas Cage Reveals “Mandy” Is A Christmas Movie
Just in time for the holiday buying season, Nicolas Cage spoke to Entertainment Weekly earlier today to talk up the bluray release of his new film “Mandy.” And amongst other …
Phone Has Notification, Your Parents Are Probably Dead
At approximately 2:47 PM today, your phone vibrated and issued it’s literally trademark tone to indicate a default notification. It was not a Steam app notification tone indicating a video …
Did You Ever Wonder How You Could Live Rent Free, With No Income?
Well, you obviously cannot.
Man Enters Into Family Thanksgiving Without Knowing Family Members’ Names
Local man, Steve Gunderson, is currently engaged in Thanksgiving dinner with his Dad and Stepmom’s family despite not knowing the names of any of the sixteen members of his stepmom’s …
Americans Mentally Prepare To Be Able To Slit Aunt Ethel’s Throat
A recent phone survey showed that, for the third year in a row, a majority of Americans plan to spend their Wednesday in silent meditation, prepping for the eventuality that …
Heartland Reels After Real American Dies in California Wildfire
America is in mourning after learning that Steve Gunderson, resident of Kansas City, Missouri, was found deceased. Steve was a 48 year old postal worker from a solid middle class …
Poor People Are Poverty Actors
I’m here to express a belief that I think we all share. We all know it. But for some reason, we’ve all felt scared to go out and say it. …
Pornstar Physically Incapable of Remembering 9/11
Local pervert, Steve Gunderson was struck by the fact that the attractive female performer currently engaged in consensual anilingus on his 4K TV had to told by her parents or …
Active Shooter Reported, Probably.
Reports are probably coming in of an active shooter in a well trafficed public area. Statistically speaking, it could very well be scarily close to you or someone you love. …