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Reports are coming in that Steven Gunderson, a man who owns a statue of himself, feels that he really can’t do anything else to help the poor. This thought first occurred to Steven whilst he was sitting on a reclaimed beechwood bench he conscripted a local artisan to build so that he would have adequate seating to sit and admire the statue that he had specially constructed by a French artisan.
Steven hopes to expand on these thoughts in an upcoming book he is working on with a ghost writer he contracted. This writer has reportedly met with Steven a dozen times and Steven is already planning an extensive photoshoot in front of the statue, for the book’s cover.
I write this shit.
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