We here at Spotify see what you’re doing. Some time ago you noticed that none of your algorithmically generated daily mixes had any Halsey in it. So you’ve been furiously listening to and liking Halsey tracks in some sort of effort to get one of her songs into your daily mix. And I just want to let you that this is not going to work. When you press Spotify’s trademark heart shaped button to like one of Halsey’s songs, we do not believe you.
Lets give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you think that you like Halsey. Well, buddy, we know you don’t like Halsey. Maybe you listened to some K.Flay and you thought it was Halsey. It happens. Lets both forgive and forget.
But I don’t think that’s very likely. What do you think? Because you know what I think? I think this is all part of some sort of clever ruse. You want to trick us into thinking you like Halsey. And you’ll have a nice laugh at our expense. Well, I don’t think you realize who you’re fucking dealing with. We’re Spotify. We’re a legitimate quality music streaming service. We have a package deal with Hulu. We’re not the Pandora-ass motherfuckers you may be used to dealing with. And we here at Spotify should not be trifled with. You’ve been warned.
- Spotify Does Not Believe You Like Halsey - March 16, 2020