467
Fresh off spending the morning opening birthday presents from his parents, Steve Gunderson is currently hanging out in his local Starbucks and thinking about the passage of time. Whilst he has set aside another hour and half to plunge the depths of his feelings underneath a sun umbrella, Steve Gunderson has released his preliminary list of conclusions.
1. My best days are behind me.
2. There is nothing I can do to change my fate.
3. My dreams are dead.
4. No one loves me.
5. Isn’t it funny that I’m having these depressing thoughts while enjoying a free birthday frappucino? There is an interesting contrast there. Anyway, I think it’s funny.
Steve Gunderson, Depressed Thirty-Year-Old
I write this shit.
Latest posts by Daniel (see all)
- Americans Believe Biden Is Too Old To Be President; Trump Not Too Old To Be Dictator - June 28, 2024
- C.D.C. Confirms Covid-19 Can Only Be Spread Via Feces - February 21, 2022
- Austin Walker Announced As New Head Of Overwatch Team At Activision-Blizzard - August 20, 2021