Reports are coming in that President Trump is currently scouring the White House for the mysterious source of music that no one else can hear. Based upon the President’s description, aides were able to deduce the song was Good Riddance (Time of Your Life). The popular song, which Trump incorrectly insists is titled “I Hope You Had The Time of Your Life,” was written by Green Day in 1997 foreseeing that one day popular TV series Seinfeld would come to an end.
President Trump began hearing the song, in a light whisper, on Saturday afternoon. At every occurrence, members of his cabinet and other White House officials report that they are completely unable to hear the music, despite being in the same room as Trump. The song has reportedly only grown louder over the past couple days and was seemingly spurred on by recent revelations from the Mueller investigation.
President Trump was initially only mildly annoyed by the music, which he believed to be coming from Barron’s room. As it grew louder however, President Trump briefly sidestepped into frantic insanity and tore apart Pence’s office to find the music. But the President reports that he is now resolved to find the source of the music in an orderly and strategic manner. We will keep you updated as he commences a room-by-room search of the White House, tracking the music as it grows louder.
Update: President Trump reports that “It’s in the fucking house.” With his ear pressed against a concrete column in the White House basement.
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