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Since dawn this morning, groundkeepers have been hand decorating each soldier’s grave with fake cobwebs and plastic spiders. Assisting them in their efforts, volunteers have come on to strategically hide speakers playing Halloween sound effects throughout the cemetery. The decorating committee had initially intended to adorn some of the graves with fake blood but an Amazon shipping delay made this impossible. A spokesperson for the cemetery indicated that, while they had to start late due to this change of plans, they should have everything ready for the witching hour of our fallen heroes’ “ookiest Halloween yet.”
I write this shit.
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