Americans Give Up On American Dream, Really Just Want Apartment Above Supermarket

458 White picket fences, a big yard and a three car garage filled with boxes and four cars in the driveway. For a long time that was what every god fearing American strived towards. But rising real estate prices, floundering wages and a general move away from the traditional family unit has many younger Americans looking in a new direction. A survey of recent college graduates show that a high percentage of their long term goals center on acquiring “an apartment over a supermarket. You know, like the Ralphs on Hollywood and Western.”

One recent graduate clarified his position as “It’s not like a refurbished stock room, like I’m a down on his luck detective. I want a real, proper condo above a supermarket.” This reporter can already imagine the possibilities. No more driving to the supermarket. Just take the elevator down and grab whatever you need for the day. No real need to stockpile. Then, depending on apartment rules, you can roll your cart into the elevator and take it up with you. Boom, your day is set.

That doesn’t get into the inevitable comradery that develops between the apartment resident and Ralphs employees. You know them by name, they know you by name. They ask about their groceries. You ask about their shitty ex. It’s like a bar and you’re an alcoholic but there are fresh apricots and affordable toilet paper.

A follow up survey directed at people in their thirties has shown that older generations largely remain unconvinced. One parent described his feeling as “a forty five minute trip is forty five minutes I don’t have to spend with people I love.”